Their eyes met. Time seemed to come to a standstill. Like the famous lines ”aur us pal me koi nahin hai. Bus ek mai hu aur ek tum ho.” Though this magical first look and falling in love at first sight has been a staple of romantic novels and movies yet the latest research shows that this all important first gaze has true attractive power.

Before we get into the science or psychology behind this famous first gaze lets talk to a couple for whom the power of the first gaze is more than just a celluloid reality. Everything else seemed non-existent on the crowded dance floor except the shy gaze of the lady in the pink dress looking directly at him for what seemed to be an instant and then looking away.

For Ramesh it was the definition of a defining moment in his life. He had fallen in love with this shy beauty who was to be his future wife recounts Ramesh. Yes, for us it was love at first sight. When I ask his wife Smita she says, “I guess I’ll have to agree. Because, somehow I just felt drawn to this person without any particular reason. I just kept looking at him and when I lost sight of him in the crowd I found myself looking for him. And when he came up to speak to me it was as if I had been waiting for this moment all evening.

Now, this might be a real dampener for all those romantically inclined but the fact of the matter is that this much hyped “first gaze” or the “look as it is often referred to has very little or almost nothing to do with romance and is almost entirely to do with sex and ego.

Philosophically, one can say that love cannot be instant it is a feeling that grows and blossoms over a period of time and involves such time honoured virtues such as respect, sacrifice and commitment whereas sexual attraction can be fairly instant.

Scientific research has also come up with similar conclusions. According to Dr. Ben Jones of the Face Research Laboratory at the University of Aberdeen, this “love at first sight” phenomenon is fairly narcissistic in nature as people do get attracted to those who are attracted to them. He goes on to say that “social signals” of how attracted someone else is to you is really important. Therefore, attraction is not just triggered by physical beauty.

Psychologists are of the opinion that a number of factors are at work to make this falling in love at first sight a reality. Firstly, it is the psychological state of the persons involved. A relaxed and positive frame of mind are pre-requisites. Other factors are our ideals, intuitions, appearance, voice, gesture and smell. People are more often than never looking for partners who they feel will both complement and supplement the qualities they have.

The first gaze or the falling in love at first sight phenomenon is nature’s way of initiating your search for a soul mate. And according to the voices of experience it is one sure way of making an “aha match!”

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